Saturday, August 28, 2004
I really really miss him lots. argh. it's only been a week, gen! besides, I was too busy to contact anyone during the course of last week. gawwsh. I have so much to tell him abt! whines.
I hate the way I miss him.
I hate the way I like him.
avoiding muh inner voice is not an option now. somebody had better save me from drowning yeah. sometimes I get the idea that he might be a crooked. then again, maybe not. what is it with me? honestly, it'd be so much easier for me to confess muh feelings to him if he were a... aye... gay! oops.
nobody knows what it's like, to be me.
|Lady`Fayth|
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Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Oh muh gawwsh...
I've surely been pushed to muh limits over the past 2 to 3 days. mugging and mugging and MUGGING! it was so painful to fight the temptations of laziness after a extra taxing day + disappointments that tried to put me down. on top of the stresses, I had been suffering from insomnia. it sucks! it really does. esp when muh body just cant stay awake for any longer, I just cant fall into a deep rest. either that, or I would fall into recurring dreams (I nvr liked them!).
today was the ultimate test of our memory + how-1/4-of-our-brain-cells-can-make-us-pass + our progress. for 3 subjects - 2 sciences and emath! wow. congratulations to all of us who had made it through this day without straining to our death. there's one final paper left for tmr. I pray that I'll have the perserverance to exert as much effort on it as I've done today. Lordess. I'm seriously drained to the core.
I need to chill out aye? it's essential to satisfy my cravings for fashion! :x
|Lady`Fayth|
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Saturday, August 21, 2004
I wont buy anymore promises.
if you think I'm an asshole, donald wan is the thing that comes out from it! tsk.
he had absolutely NO manners, aight? nutified.
what went wrong for el oral?
1) he didnt smile when I smiled at him
2) he didnt greet me when I greeted him
3) he was utterly cocky
4) he did not pay attention
5) he showed no respect to ALL candidates!
therefore I conclude, dw has a serious attitude problem beyond reclaimation.
crap. guess what he was doing? rummaging through papers, signalling to candidates behind me and daydreaming! goodness. there's no consolation for me and the other candidates who had him as their examiner.
now, I need to concentrate on muh school work FULL TIME cos I cant afford to screw it again. life doesnt allow second-chances yeah.
|Lady`Fayth|
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Wednesday, August 18, 2004
there's a complexed feeling swimming inside of me now. there's some sorta fear mixed with smth I cant identify. sheesh. there are so many doubts that seem to be arising these days that I had nvr thought would occur to me. eg. doubting that He exist and thinking that He is playing with my heart. sometimes I just dont know what to say to Him cos I cant relate to Him as much. prayers are needed and I will nvr cease to seek for the "Light of Truth".
well, I was really lethargic when I woke up this morning and through out the day, I could not care less abt the lessons which were going on. I needed to rest. I wished I could freeze the moment and give myself a break.
"Jesus, I know I need You. pls do not forsake me!"
|Lady`Fayth|
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Monday, August 16, 2004
am I worth [tz]? o man. it's freakay just letting it cross my mind.
kena lectured by ms yeo today for playing truant! tsk. I hate it when she says, "I am so disappointed in you." dang! it nvr fails to
punch me so hard. ): eeouch.
"sorry ms yeo! I'll nvr do it again."
emath was SO tiring, even though we had a sit-down-and-copy-notes lesson by our dearest blur-ms-huang. she was shouting at the top of her pitchy-voice pls? aiyo! what's with her? it was as if she had an inbuilt amplifier!
we can hear you ms huang! sigh and her handwriting was so minute! cant see nuts from where I was sitting. o funny thing was: she asked jen a question and jen didnt know howda ans. so, mandy tried to help by saying, "[the ans] - tell her that!" aloud. wahaha goodness. ms huang heard that pls? haha. she cant whisper for goodness sakes!
ok. I gotta get busy now.
|Lady`Fayth|
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Friday, August 13, 2004
awwe mann! check this out: a new blog for fresh-feel sake! hehe. I'm overjoyed yeah.
let's see. aye, I definitely didnt start off my day too good (it's Friday the 13th, what d'you expect?).
firstly, the project: I was kinda upset all morning that my partners were not efficient and enthusiastic enough. it pains me to edit every single piece of work and having to do the coverpage also. all that work lasted me till 1+am with an empty stomach. sheesh. I'm
not putting the blame on anyone from my team cos they cant help it if they do not know howda carry out the tasks. bleargh. however, I hope they'd realise that it's crucial to be observant and senstive to daily happenings around them.
lesson learnt: it takes effort, enthusiasm, determination and a aggressive nature to soar.
next up, I recieved a huge letdown letter from whom-I-shall-not-mention cos I still love her (as a friend). it instilled in my head that, "ultimately, no one would want to standby me when I truly need their company and comfort". so, after much thought, I recalled a reflection one morning which says, "a woman of strength prays for courage", smth along that line. (: it's heart-tingling to know that He knew what I needed even before I faced my obstacle. yupp. I love Jesus!
lol thanks and appreciation to: Bimbo Zelly! haha. love love.
|Lady`Fayth|
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